What I should have said

What I should have said, “O-yasumi-nasai” which means “Have a good night”
What I said, “Yasumi-nasai” which meant “Go and sleep!!!” (like a mother scolding her child)
All I did was omit an “O” and I sound like a “NM” (naggy mom).

Somebody once asked what I do on romantic dates.
What I should have said: “sho-ku-ji-shimasu” which means “to have a meal”
What I said: “sho-ji-shimasu” which meant “to do household chores”
Well I do like to ‘sweep’ my girl from under her feet.

A Japanese friend told me that he is dating one of our friends.
What I should have said: “Mi-e-nai” which implies, “Oh, I couldn’t tell that you two are a couple”
What I said: “Mi-nai” which implied, “Oh, you two don’t look at all like a couple”
Naturally, he became rather cross.